I got a message on my Facebook the other day addressing me by the name that I am really trying to get away from. This would be on the Facebook where I identify as female. It was someone from high school. I figured “Hey, if you figured it out, then I am not one to deny you.”
The thing is that I actually wrote an entire note on that other Facebook about a year ago saying exactly what was happening… and it got kind of funny to me about this whole process of “coming out” as trans. Because, it is not just one magical event in which you make a prepared statement in front of some press. There is almost a daily process with everyone you know and then even when you have told them… it is like “you know you could turn back or change your mind at any point and we will pretend like it never ever happened.”
That is because most of them probably already ARE pretending like it never ever happened. I wrote my mother an email about three years ago explaining. She offered to help with counseling though to this day I have no idea if the intent of that was to help me get to where I needed to go or stop it altogether. Could not tell you. Don’t get me wrong. It helped. She had never ever mentioned it ever ever again. Somewhere, you would think that she would know… however… In order to thoroughly beat it into her head… there is a good day that I would have to wake up every morning and tell her and call her every night to inform her that nothing as far as that goes changes. I would assume my brother has no clue and that she has mentioned it to other people even less than the never she mentions it to me.
I told my family. I told my Facebook. Due to some issues, I still don’t really live full time even at home. But, since I am not telling everyone every day twice a day..it seems to just revert back to non knowledge. Eventually, I will have to have special little soul searching conversations with the Department of Motor Vehicles, The Social Security Administration, some sort of court to get my name legally changed, and find a workplace who would be accepting of it. I could do all of that and then there are some people who have not heard or consider it to be a maybe. It feels like I could become something of a Jehovah’s Witness for my own trans experience knocking from door to door across America saying “Could you take a few minutes to consider how I am intending to become a woman?”
Then, you get things like “I am Cait” where if you are rich enough you can have an entourage, handlers, and make up people at your disposal twenty four seven and then still get mocked as internet meme by the unbelieving. Ultimately, you know what the average person sort of understands… surgery. Then even then I would imagine some one would probably make some sort of last ditch effort to talk me out of it. After I talked about it on Facebook last year, there was honestly a woman as two different therapists said that I really did have a Gender Identity Disorder who tried to put me in touch with her presumably religious therapist who could “help.” Really, a third opinion and maybe you would be satisfied.
So all legalities aside, the only person that you really need to come out too stands in the mirror, because no matter what you do… or how official it is or how many people you tell… some are just going to try and put you right back in. Remember, Only worry about those with the power to stop you, and no matter what the only person that can do that is you.
Becoming Sherry 